Can you even remember the resolutions you made last year? I can’t! 2020 hasn’t exactly gone according to plan for anybody. As we approach the dawn of a new year you may be tempted to make resolutions to do better and be better in 2021. It can be really useful to take time to pause and reflect on our values and priorities, and how aligned our lives are with these. But making lofty resolutions and setting big goals – especially amidst so much uncertainty – is highly likely to lead to failure and induce shame. No one needs more shame in their lives.
Clarifying your values, defining your priorities and setting achievable goals are all helpful things to do. But is now really the time? Most of us are exhausted and anxious right now. Although there is hope on the horizon, we are currently facing increasing threat from rising Covid-19 rates and ongoing restrictions on many of the things that make our lives meaningful. We may be struggling financially or concerned about coping with home-schooling. If you work in healthcare you might already be at your limits, wondering how you are going to carry on. Surviving the months ahead – physically and psychologically – might be all we can focus on right now. What we need is comfort and nurturing, not a motivational kick.
How would it feel if you gave yourself permission to focus on nurture and restoration in January, and perhaps beyond? Let go of the drive to be and do better. For now at least.
Here are 3 suggestions for alternatives to New Year’s resolutions. Receive them as ideas and prompts for nurturing and restoring yourself. Don’t commit to do them. Do them if and when you feel like it. If an idea feels nurturing, try it. If it feels draining, forget it.
Get creative
Connecting with your innate creativity can have all sorts of benefits for your wellbeing – it can boost your mood, help you process difficult feelings, and give your brain a rest from rumination. 64 Million Artists’ January Challenge will send you a creative prompt each day of the month. The prompts are designed to be accessible to everyone, no matter what your previous experience of creative pursuits is. Tasks can be done in 5 minutes, or they could inspire a bigger project that absorbs you for hours. They are varied and explore all sorts of creative forms from dancing to writing and building to exploring. This year 64 Million Artists is collaborating with three inspiring creative figures: Lemn Lemn Sissay, Yomi Adegoke and Jess Thom (AKA The Touretteshero).
Feed yourself a literary diet
Poetry, drama and debate – these are all ways of expanding your horizons and learning new things. Nurturing your thinking can open up possibilities and inspire new ideas. It can also be a more interesting distraction than your usual Netflix binge. Claire Armistead, writing for The Observer, has curated a list of 31 literary treats, including poems, podcasts, films and essays – some taking as little as 2-minutes.
Capture joy
Listening to the radio on Christmas day I heard surgeon Liz O’Riordan talk about surviving breast cancer, twice. She spoke about one of the things that helped her get through this – a Jar of Joy. Every time something good happens write it on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Capture happy occasions or important achievements, but also everyday joys like a beautiful frosty morning, or an unexpected call from an old friend. When you’re struggling go to the jar and read a few of the notes. Keep it somewhere you can see to remind you that even in the darkest times there are joyful moments.
