When we’re feeling overwhelmed, whatever the cause, it can be really hard to take effective action to support ourselves. We often end up getting caught up in unhelpful cycles of avoidance, that in the long run make things worse. Or we get so hooked up in battling difficult thoughts and feelings that we just feel stuck. But there are some proven strategies for overcoming overwhelm.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT for short) offers really helpful ways of responding to overwhelm. They’re not easy, and require practice – but they can be boiled down into 3 core processes: get present, open up and do what matters.
When you notice yourself caught in the midst of an emotional storm (this could be anxiety, avoidance, anger, overwhelm – anything that means you feel caught up, and disconnected from living the life you want) follow these three steps:
Get present
This will help you to “drop anchor” to keep you steady in the midst of an emotional storm. Getting present can help you make mindful choices about how to respond to the situation and the difficult thoughts or feelings that show up.
There are 3 steps: Acknowledge, Connect and Engage.
Acknowledge your experience
Notice what thoughts, feelings, memories are present for you right now. Try to name them if you can.
Connect with your body
Push your feet into the ground or Intentionally move your body, noticing that it is containing all your thoughts and feelings.
Engage with the world around you
Notice the room around you and engage your senses. What can you see, hear, smell and taste?
Click HERE to access four dropping anchor audio scripts from Dr Russ Harris, a leading ACT author.
Open up
Once you are feeling present and aware of what’s going on for you, opening up to difficult thoughts and feelings allows you to drop the struggle with them, and have greater freedom in how you respond. Do this by:
Being curious
Observe the workings of your mind and the sensations in your body like a curious scientist. What do you notice? Don’t try to alter or change them, just notice them.
Making room
Imagine breathing into and around your feelings, making space for them.
Offering a kind hand
Place a hand on your body where you feel the most discomfort. Imagine a sense of kindness, warmth and care flowing from your hand to your body. Try to treat your feelings as you would a wounded puppy, or a priceless piece of art.
This audio recording (again from Russ Harris) will help you practise these skills.
Do what matters
Our lives are enriched when we take actions that are in line with our values.
Ask yourself these questions to help clarify your values:
- What do you want to stand for in the face of your current struggles?
- How do you want to treat yourself and others?
- When it comes to work what sort of person do you want to be? What strengths and qualities do you want to develop?
Then decide what action to take – pick one or two of the values you identified above and look for opportunities to sprinkle these into your day.
At the end of the day take some time to reflect – notice what it was like to take values-guided action. What difference did it make?
You can read more about clarifying values here.
If you’ve found this helpful you can download a pdf workbook version of this blog here.
If you’d like more support to work through these ideas in therapy book a free 20-minute call with me.
